Is First Name too Familiar?
Last night we had dinner with two other couples and a very interesting question came up. One of the couples has just moved back to Atlanta from the northwest. This young family enrolled their 3 year old in a Mothers Morning Out program. The wife stated that here in the south, she was surprised that children could call their teacher by his/her first name, by simply putting Miss or Mr. in front – Miss Debbie, Mr. Mike. The couple asked my opinion and, as always, I was happy to share my thoughts.
When children are given permission to call their teacher Miss Debbie, that dilutes adult power by bringing a child’s first name and a teacher’s first name closer together. Deference has practically faded today between teachers and students. The fact that we allow teachers to be called Miss Anything greatly contributes to that decline. Many public schools in America are scary places to teach because of a lack of respect for authority.
I’d love to hear your opinion. What do you think about children calling teachers by their first names? Why do you think this came into practice? Your thoughts...
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February 3rd, 2010 - 08:36
I do not agree with with children addressing their teachers or anyone else by their first name. Peggy Newfield said it all. It might be Southern and I am a Yankee, Mrs. Mr. or Miss, and the last name is how we were taught and how I taught my children.
February 3rd, 2010 - 12:39
I agree that it is an injustice to the system for children to be promoted to calling an adult by their first name, even though a “Miss” has been placed in front of it.
I believe there are several reasons that this situation has occurred and grown over the years. One is the “self” focus our society has adopted. We are not bothered to learn a person’s entire name or if we were told we are not bothered with the detail of remembering it, so to cover up the lack of knowing the adult’s first name, we put Miss in front of it.
I also believe that we underestimate our children’s ability to pronounce a difficult name so we allow them to not be challenged to do so, and give them our first names instead.
And finally, as a society we have increasing treated our children as small adults. Giving them power that is neither deserved or appropriate for their maturity level.
February 3rd, 2010 - 12:42
I agree that it is an injustice to the system for children to be promoted to calling an adult by their first name, even though a “Miss” has been placed in front of it.
I believe there are several reasons that this situation has occurred and grown over the years. One is the “self” focus our society has adopted. We are not bothered to learn a person’s entire name or if we were told a full name we are not bothered with the detail of remembering it. In an effort to cover up the lack of knowing the adult’s last name, we put Miss in front of the first, often times without that persons permission.
I also believe that we underestimate our children’s ability to pronounce a difficult name so we allow them to not be challenged to do so, and give them our first names instead.
And finally, as a society we have increasing treated our children as small adults. Giving them power that is neither deserved or appropriate for their maturity level.
February 3rd, 2010 - 19:31
I agree with all of the points made by Ms. Hinshaw. I would add to this that the influence of media and modeling by adults showing disrespect to others and especially those in authority or older has contributed second only to parents who do not teach their children the appropriate respect for older individuals. TV, movies, music are predominately filled with modeling of disrespect of self and others. Children thrive under appropriate boundaries for they have inherent nature that desires to be protected. We have too many children living in “the adult world” that their minds and bodies are not prepared to embrace.
February 7th, 2010 - 20:12
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