What Makes A Man?
Every now and then I read something that simply warms the cockles of my heart. An article appeared in the Atlanta Journal, Sports section, March 28, about a young man, Jason Heyward, who made the Braves team and will be playing right fielder, opening day.
As you read about Jason’s family and their reaction to their son’s success, you get the sense that this is a pretty tight family with loads of values. Conversations end with phrases like “Love you, Dad”.
Hitting coach Terry Pendleton said to Jason’s father, “You have done an excellent job with that young man”. Those are words that all parents like to hear. But the best comment came from Jason’s grandfather who said many times to this young man growing up, “Manners take you where money won’t!”
What a quote and certainly one…that Makes Momma Happy!
The American School of Protocol
...where training is our passion
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Meet our graduate, Faye Van Langen
After watching Peggy teach the children the proper way to handle the napkin, knife, spoon and fork, we were then given the opportunity to teach the same lessons with an instructor. This hands on type of training reinforced everything we learned.
I was also amazed at how fast the children grasped the etiquette lessons. The youngest child was 6 and the oldest was only 10. Repetition was the key to success!
Thank You!
Faye Van Langen, certified graduate, February 2010
The American School of Protocol
...where training is our passion
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Fish Smell After 3 Days, Do You?
When you live in the North and like to travel south to Florida in the winter, Atlanta is the perfect place to have friends.
I always chuckle when I read a “Dear Abby’ column about house guests who wreck the family schedule by staying too long, expecting to be entertained and use the family’s personal things without asking.
I’ve never experienced this scenario in our own home and I’ve always thought that nobody could be that bad, but my neighbor came over last night and shared how hard it had been to have ‘passing through’ house guests for a long weekend. They weren’t close friends, they were people they once lived near in another city and with whom they’d ‘loosely’ kept in touch. My neighbor and her husband both work full time and they have children in school, so they have limited time and keep a routine going. The long weekend turned out to be a marathon of meal preparing – breakfast, lunch and dinner. On the evening they did go out to dinner the house guests did not reach for the check. And on afternoon excursions they did not offer to pay for the parking or the admission to the museum or, or, or.... it kept going on. They helped themselves to things around the house, in the pantry, in the fridge – all before being offered. The straw that broke the camel’s back was the morning that my neighbor walked into her kitchen to find Mrs. LongAgoAndFarAway on the family laptop, which contained plenty of private information. Can you believe this behavior? And it happened next door – not in a newspaper column. So yes, people really can be that bad!
My Mom used to say “Fish begin to smell after 3 days”. That is a great gauge for people who stay in someone’s home. Leave before the visit begins to smell and you may well get asked back! Being a good house guest ...
...now that Makes Momma Happy!
The American School of Protocol
...where training is our passion
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When Can I Eat?
Recently in one of my blogs we talked about when to start eating if you are at the food court. With everyone hurrying back to their jobs and schedules, we decided that it was OK to start eating even though not everyone had returned to the table.
There is a major difference though in how you handle the ‘when do I start eating?’ in a restaurant or home setting. When the main course arrives at the table, everyone sits with hands in laps until all the plates are put down. Then everyone begins eating together.
Now, let’s suppose that, for whatever reason, one plate has to return to the kitchen. The individual who has no food should now instruct us to please start eating. How terribly uncomfortable it is for the ‘foodless’ person if everyone just sits and makes no attempt to eat. So, the rest of us eat just one bite, put our forks down, take one small piece of bread, rest our hands in our laps, take a sip of our drink and repeat the whole process of slowly eating so that we aren’t finished by the time the foodless person gets his food back.
As the rest of the world often refers to Americans as ‘woofers’ because we eat so quickly, dining slowly and thoughtfully for others is a good thing for everyone.
... and that Makes Momma Happy!
The American School of Protocol
...where training is our passion
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Rules are Rules…or are they?
Because I made a promise to my daughter that I would NOT preach in my blog, I thought I would share with you some slight bends of the rules that I use at my house. They are still well within ‘proper’ guidelines though they do not follow the rules to the letter. Here we go…
When I have people come to our home for dinner, if I am serving a salad at the same time as the main course, I only put a dinner fork on the left side, not a dinner and salad fork. I do this because the salad fork can so easily fall off the salad plate during dinner, or when you remove the plates to prepare for dessert. If I am serving the salad before the main course, then I will set the table with a salad fork, a dinner fork and two knives. That allows our guests to use a salad fork and a salad knife with that course. Then for the main course, the dinner fork and knife will be used.
In this instance, the one rule I do not bend is that I always use the appropriate utensils. Every fork set from left to right is married to a knife.
Do you ever bend the rules? Do tell!
...and we’ll see if that Makes Momma Happy!
The American School of Protocol
...where training is our passion
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Is First Name too Familiar?
Last night we had dinner with two other couples and a very interesting question came up. One of the couples has just moved back to Atlanta from the northwest. This young family enrolled their 3 year old in a Mothers Morning Out program. The wife stated that here in the south, she was surprised that children could call their teacher by his/her first name, by simply putting Miss or Mr. in front – Miss Debbie, Mr. Mike. The couple asked my opinion and, as always, I was happy to share my thoughts.
When children are given permission to call their teacher Miss Debbie, that dilutes adult power by bringing a child’s first name and a teacher’s first name closer together. Deference has practically faded today between teachers and students. The fact that we allow teachers to be called Miss Anything greatly contributes to that decline. Many public schools in America are scary places to teach because of a lack of respect for authority.
I’d love to hear your opinion. What do you think about children calling teachers by their first names? Why do you think this came into practice? Your thoughts...
...always Make Mama Happy!
The American School of Protocol
...where training is our passion
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A Food Court Delimma…
I am always fascinated with life’s little moments of what to do.
Earlier this week, I wrote about my associate attending a national convention. When she returned to Atlanta, she told me of another situation that caused her to pause. A group of colleagues decided to have lunch at the convention food court. There were hundreds of people trying to get lunch and finding a table was tricky. Once a table was secured, one person stayed to hold the table while others got in line to get their food. When the first person returned with his lunch, the table-holder left to get in line.
As there were so many people in line, the members of the group straggled back to the table one at a time. One person sat quietly and never touched his food. Two other people started eating immediately upon returning to the table. Two people were still in the line for food.
Should everyone have waited for all to return to the table or was it o.k. to start eating?
As the etiquette ‘keeper’, waiting for everyone to return is the rule, but there are times, due to circumstances, when the rules can be broken. The fact that two people ate quickly and returned to the convention floor was out of necessity. After all, this did take place in the food court and that usually means ‘lunch and run’.
The fact that one person waited for the other two before eating was great and showed good manners.
... and that Makes Momma Happy!
The American School of Protocol
...where training is our passion
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But We Call it ‘Finger’ Food …
‘Finger’ food?
As a ‘keeper’ of the etiquette rules, so many of the events that happen in our daily lives simply don’t allow us to comfortably ‘follow the rules’.
Recently, while attending a large convention, one of my associates stopped at a booth to check out a new product. At the booth, the company had trays of pick-up food (egg rolls, stuffed mushrooms, baby pizza etc.) for guests to help themselves. My associate took a napkin and picked up an egg roll. The caterer quickly sprang forth to tell her how rude she was for not using the serving tongs on the tray. In defense, my associate explained that she purposely didn’t use the tongs because so many people ahead of her had used them and she was sure they were covered in germs on the handle. She told the caterer that she selected an egg roll with her just-sanitized fingers, without touching another on the platter.
Etiquette dictates that utensils be used to pick up food from platters, but was she right or wrong?
I admit that at large receptions and all-you-can-eat food bars, the utensils probably are very ‘germy’. In my opinion, my associate had a valid response in whether or not to use those particular utensils at that particular time. We tell all our etiquette graduates that first you need to know the rules, then you make a judgment call on breaking that rule if need be.
And that Makes Momma Happy!
The American School of Protocol
...where training is our passion
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Saying Thank You isn’t hard to do!
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I wonder why people don’t write thank you notes. I continue to be amazed by the number of people who happily receive gifts from others and yet never take time to sit down and compose a simple 4-sentence note. Recently, when The Washington Post interviewed me, I laid out a simple formula for writing notes. Even the 3 year olds that we teach in etiquette class get it. The 1st, 2nd and 4th sentences are about the gift. The 3rd sentence is unrelated. A note might look something like this: Dear Janice, Thank you for my lovely Christmas sweater. How did you know that royal blue was my favorite color? I always look forward to our monthly lunches. Each time I wear my beautiful present, I will think of you. Warm regards, Jane.
It takes less than 4 minutes to compose and it brings so much pleasure to the person who gave you a gift.
...and that Makes Momma Happy!
The American School of Protocol
...where training is our passion
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Calling Shotgun!
Funny how sometimes you just notice something that you never thought of before. My husband and I have been married for many years. If someone picked us up at the airport, I always got in the back seat and my husband always sat in the passenger front seat. Now I wish I hadn’t done that so routinely and here’s why.
During the Christmas holidays I picked up my son and daughter-in-law at the airport. My DiL, without any discussion, opened that back door and got in. Several days later, I went back to pick up my daughter and son-in-law. After bags were loaded, my SiL said to my daughter, I’ll sit in the back seat, you sit up front with your Mom.” It was very sweet and thoughtful.
...and that Makes Momma Happy!
The American School of Protocol
...where training is our passion
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