A Feast For The Eyes
When we arrived in Ireland toward the end of May, I had no idea there would be so many gardens with the first blooms of Spring everywhere. Wisteria, lilacs, iris, lilies, roses and much more. When I am in a garden, I feel especially close to God. Manicured arbors, fragrant smells from roses and flowering trees, birds singing melodious songs...everywhere is such peace. Why can't we have more of this peace in our lives everyday? Ireland is so beautiful.
What makes a U.S. traveler the “Ugly American?”
Our castle is located just outside Thurles, a small farm town. In driving to Thurles, one sees beautiful farm fields fenced in by stone walls and hedges. These different shades of green, all squared off with sheep, cows and horses, gives me such a relaxed sense of calm. Lots of tourist are in the large cities (Shannon, Dublin, etc.) but we see mostly locals in these small towns.
Today we visited a totally refurbished fabulous castle, owed by the Butlers. As we started our unguided tour, 2 American couples were in front of us. There were signs posted everywhere that said "no pictures allowed in the castle." One of the men in this group began taking pictures in each room. People who live in Ireland are so kind and very polite, at least those that I met, but suddenly the castle docent wasn't so gentle in her verbage, but still very polite. "Sir, you have taken 3 pictures so far in the castle. One more and you will be escorted out of the property." The man mumbled some kind of feeble excuse and put his camera away.
We dropped back to look at another room and I heard the docent say, "You always have to watch those Americans. They love to see how far they can bend the rules."
I felt a tinge of sadness. Every American who travels is an ambassador of our country. Our image as "The Ugly American" is universal and that is because of incidenses just like this one.
What Makes A Man?
Every now and then I read something that simply warms the cockles of my heart. An article appeared in the Atlanta Journal, Sports section, March 28, about a young man, Jason Heyward, who made the Braves team and will be playing right fielder, opening day.
As you read about Jason’s family and their reaction to their son’s success, you get the sense that this is a pretty tight family with loads of values. Conversations end with phrases like “Love you, Dad”.
Hitting coach Terry Pendleton said to Jason’s father, “You have done an excellent job with that young man”. Those are words that all parents like to hear. But the best comment came from Jason’s grandfather who said many times to this young man growing up, “Manners take you where money won’t!”
What a quote and certainly one…that Makes Momma Happy!
The American School of Protocol
...where training is our passion
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When Can I Eat?
Recently in one of my blogs we talked about when to start eating if you are at the food court. With everyone hurrying back to their jobs and schedules, we decided that it was OK to start eating even though not everyone had returned to the table.
There is a major difference though in how you handle the ‘when do I start eating?’ in a restaurant or home setting. When the main course arrives at the table, everyone sits with hands in laps until all the plates are put down. Then everyone begins eating together.
Now, let’s suppose that, for whatever reason, one plate has to return to the kitchen. The individual who has no food should now instruct us to please start eating. How terribly uncomfortable it is for the ‘foodless’ person if everyone just sits and makes no attempt to eat. So, the rest of us eat just one bite, put our forks down, take one small piece of bread, rest our hands in our laps, take a sip of our drink and repeat the whole process of slowly eating so that we aren’t finished by the time the foodless person gets his food back.
As the rest of the world often refers to Americans as ‘woofers’ because we eat so quickly, dining slowly and thoughtfully for others is a good thing for everyone.
... and that Makes Momma Happy!
The American School of Protocol
...where training is our passion
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Is First Name too Familiar?
Last night we had dinner with two other couples and a very interesting question came up. One of the couples has just moved back to Atlanta from the northwest. This young family enrolled their 3 year old in a Mothers Morning Out program. The wife stated that here in the south, she was surprised that children could call their teacher by his/her first name, by simply putting Miss or Mr. in front – Miss Debbie, Mr. Mike. The couple asked my opinion and, as always, I was happy to share my thoughts.
When children are given permission to call their teacher Miss Debbie, that dilutes adult power by bringing a child’s first name and a teacher’s first name closer together. Deference has practically faded today between teachers and students. The fact that we allow teachers to be called Miss Anything greatly contributes to that decline. Many public schools in America are scary places to teach because of a lack of respect for authority.
I’d love to hear your opinion. What do you think about children calling teachers by their first names? Why do you think this came into practice? Your thoughts...
...always Make Mama Happy!
The American School of Protocol
...where training is our passion
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A Food Court Delimma…
I am always fascinated with life’s little moments of what to do.
Earlier this week, I wrote about my associate attending a national convention. When she returned to Atlanta, she told me of another situation that caused her to pause. A group of colleagues decided to have lunch at the convention food court. There were hundreds of people trying to get lunch and finding a table was tricky. Once a table was secured, one person stayed to hold the table while others got in line to get their food. When the first person returned with his lunch, the table-holder left to get in line.
As there were so many people in line, the members of the group straggled back to the table one at a time. One person sat quietly and never touched his food. Two other people started eating immediately upon returning to the table. Two people were still in the line for food.
Should everyone have waited for all to return to the table or was it o.k. to start eating?
As the etiquette ‘keeper’, waiting for everyone to return is the rule, but there are times, due to circumstances, when the rules can be broken. The fact that two people ate quickly and returned to the convention floor was out of necessity. After all, this did take place in the food court and that usually means ‘lunch and run’.
The fact that one person waited for the other two before eating was great and showed good manners.
... and that Makes Momma Happy!
The American School of Protocol
...where training is our passion
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But We Call it ‘Finger’ Food …
‘Finger’ food?
As a ‘keeper’ of the etiquette rules, so many of the events that happen in our daily lives simply don’t allow us to comfortably ‘follow the rules’.
Recently, while attending a large convention, one of my associates stopped at a booth to check out a new product. At the booth, the company had trays of pick-up food (egg rolls, stuffed mushrooms, baby pizza etc.) for guests to help themselves. My associate took a napkin and picked up an egg roll. The caterer quickly sprang forth to tell her how rude she was for not using the serving tongs on the tray. In defense, my associate explained that she purposely didn’t use the tongs because so many people ahead of her had used them and she was sure they were covered in germs on the handle. She told the caterer that she selected an egg roll with her just-sanitized fingers, without touching another on the platter.
Etiquette dictates that utensils be used to pick up food from platters, but was she right or wrong?
I admit that at large receptions and all-you-can-eat food bars, the utensils probably are very ‘germy’. In my opinion, my associate had a valid response in whether or not to use those particular utensils at that particular time. We tell all our etiquette graduates that first you need to know the rules, then you make a judgment call on breaking that rule if need be.
And that Makes Momma Happy!
The American School of Protocol
...where training is our passion
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Saying Thank You isn’t hard to do!
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I wonder why people don’t write thank you notes. I continue to be amazed by the number of people who happily receive gifts from others and yet never take time to sit down and compose a simple 4-sentence note. Recently, when The Washington Post interviewed me, I laid out a simple formula for writing notes. Even the 3 year olds that we teach in etiquette class get it. The 1st, 2nd and 4th sentences are about the gift. The 3rd sentence is unrelated. A note might look something like this: Dear Janice, Thank you for my lovely Christmas sweater. How did you know that royal blue was my favorite color? I always look forward to our monthly lunches. Each time I wear my beautiful present, I will think of you. Warm regards, Jane.
It takes less than 4 minutes to compose and it brings so much pleasure to the person who gave you a gift.
...and that Makes Momma Happy!
The American School of Protocol
...where training is our passion
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Calling Shotgun!
Funny how sometimes you just notice something that you never thought of before. My husband and I have been married for many years. If someone picked us up at the airport, I always got in the back seat and my husband always sat in the passenger front seat. Now I wish I hadn’t done that so routinely and here’s why.
During the Christmas holidays I picked up my son and daughter-in-law at the airport. My DiL, without any discussion, opened that back door and got in. Several days later, I went back to pick up my daughter and son-in-law. After bags were loaded, my SiL said to my daughter, I’ll sit in the back seat, you sit up front with your Mom.” It was very sweet and thoughtful.
...and that Makes Momma Happy!
The American School of Protocol
...where training is our passion
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Is It the Right Fit
People come from all over the world to our etiquette certification training. The trainees and our staff always bond so quickly and establish a wonderful rapport with each other.
During the last day of one of our 5-day children’s training classes, a trainee from outside the US started offering my staff, one by one, jobs in her ‘new’ etiquette business. She stated that money was no object and that she would fly them in and out of the country whenever they wanted.
All staff members declined her ‘generous’ offer.
I get very nervous when someone chooses the wrong field in which to work. We need to remember that in every situation our behavior is always on display. When we know better, we do better.
... and that Makes Momma Happy!
The American School of Protocol
...where training is our passion
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