Who are the enemies of etiquette today? Well, they are lurking everywhere and screaming for your attention.
We have compiled a list of our top “Enemies of Etiquette” as we like to call them so that you can be on the lookout.
The Enemy: Technology
Children and parents alike are glued to their devices. Seeing a family of four all staring at their iPhones during a dinner out is a common occurrence. With these distractions at our finger tips, communication and socialization are diminishing.
Advice: Actively be aware of how much time you spend staring at the screen. Take back your precious time.
The Enemy: Social Media
Not only do we communicate more and with larger audiences, we do so at lightning speed, using emojis, status updates and 140 character announcements. Immediate updates, cute dog videos, personal information about friends and acquaintances along with new or fake news updates is constantly being thrown our way.
Advice: Limit time using social media, be aware of what you are reading and absorbing and always think before you post on any social site.
The Enemy: The Race
You’re in a hurry, I’m in a hurry, were all in a hurry! There is never enough time - - and especially not enough time for manners or courtesy.
Advice: Slow down, you’re not the only one whose time is important. There is always time to show respect for others.
The Enemy: Trolls
People say things online that they would never dream of uttering out loud. The amount of hate and irresponsibility on social sites and in comment sections is unbelievable. Words have power and what we say online has just as much weight as what we say in person.
Advice: Don’t get involved with trolls – don’t read their remarks – ban and block those individuals. If you think you are being one – stop it immediately!
The Enemy: Time
Over-scheduled, rushed, too busy to sit down and eat together – this is typical. The Harris Poll states that 59% of people claim their family has fewer dinners together than they did growing up. This is cause for concern since the family dinner is the cornerstone of conversation skills and consideration for others.
Advice: Make time to have meals together. This is an important sharing time – not only for families with children, but for everyone. Sharing your day and listening to someone else is one of the best things we can do to eradicate the enemies of etiquette.
The “enemies of etiquette” all have one goal - To divide us. We must stay vigilant and continue fighting the battle in the hopes of preserving courtesy and respect.
In the aviation world, these three words are considered a common approach to flying situations.
Aviation studies have discovered that during emergencies pilots can get so focused on solving the problem that they forget to actually fly the airplane.
Being prepared and knowing exactly what you will do before you do it serves us well in all aspects of life. This tactic can also be employed to help you feel more comfortable when dining with others.
[one_half_last]You won’t be panicked because you accidently used someone else’s bread plate or so frazzled that you forget to eat.
Here are a few tips that will ensure you land once you have taken off!
Prepare For Take Off
The takeoff is important just like the landing and everything in-between, but the most important part is how you walk away feeling after the experience and how you made those around you feel.
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Another terrorist attack in our country on Halloween, lead us at The American School of Protocol to do much soul searching on how we could help our children in the United States. Recently our country has been subjected to hurricanes, fires, earthquakes, and a sense of fear and anxiety prevails.
Having personally spoken to so many individuals over the years,we have heard your passion for making a profound positive difference in the children in your community. This is why we are offering a 1-Day Training Conference, in Atlanta so that YOU can help.
Cultivating Character, a 1-Day Conference, includes copies of the five manuals in our Character Education Series for Pre-k through High School (retails for $1,675.00). Each manual is age-appropriate with multiple lessons and handout materials for your students.
The Cultivating Character 1-Day Conference will provide benefit to anyone working closely with children:
School Board Members
Parents / Grandparents
Small Business Owners
Special Education Teachers
Life Coach Consultants
Youth Ministry Leaders
Conference participants will interact with industry peers and learn strategies on helping children increase their self-confidence.
At the Cultivating Character 1-Day Conference, Peggy Newfield, President and Founder of The American School of Protocol and Personal Best Inc. will share her 37+ years of extensive research and experience teaching children, consultants, educators, political and business professionals.
The American School of Protocol wants to empower you to impact your community by positively influencing America's youth. Our children are tomorrow's leaders. Join us in our battle to make our communities stronger.
Congratulations to our most recent graduates on becoming a part of The American School of Protocol.
Participants came from throughout the United States as well as India and Australia.
As the up and coming ASP Graduates learned and grew together, lasting relationships were established.
At the beginning of the week they started off as strangers sharing a common passion, but by the end of the training they had become part of something much bigger and stronger than just themselves.
Some participants came to Atlanta to begin learning how to create a successful business. Others wanted to add additional services to their existing business. We also had individuals attend ASP’s certification for their own benefit as well as those who were sent on behalf of a company or an organization.
The American School of Protocol has a strong network of educators, parents, and community leaders who teach etiquette and life skills as a service to their community.
Our main goal during the five day training program is to make sure each graduate of ASP leaves our training knowing that they are well equipped for the task at hand. We provide all the support they may need as they attempt that task.
ASP Graduates are part of an elite group, an organization committed to encourage and support one another. Integrity, honesty, and a genuine passion to make our world a kinder place is the best way to describe those who attend our program.
As the week progressed, our participants learned how to be a powerful educator and presenter through activities and hands-on instructions. Everyone truly bonded.
We wish each of our new ASP graduates success. Educating others and teaching life-skills information is so rewarding. Our graduates are not just teaching, they are making a positive difference in the lives of children and adults.
The American School of Protocol is proud to claim graduates from over 40 different countries. In October, our Corporate Etiquette Certification class included an attendee from South Korea and provided a unique opportunity to celebrate and appreciate diverse customs and traditions. All of our attendees came away with improved skills in the art of cultural inclusivity and acceptance.
Being knee-deep in the holiday season increases the likelihood of exposure to new people and unfamiliar beliefs and practices. Good etiquette demands that we are prepared and able to avoid offending others.
The phrase ‘politically correct’ has gained a lot of criticism recently. Politically correct; commonly abbreviated to PC, is used to describe language, policies, or measures that are intended to avoid offense or disadvantage to particular groups in society.
‘Can you state your feelings today and still be politically correct?’ was a segment on a prominent news show this week. The host stated that it is hard because people take offense to so many things these days.
With many people tired of hearing how to, and why to be more ‘politically correct’, we saw this as an opportunity to turn it around. Instead of being more ‘politically correct’, we would like to encourage you to be more conscious of others feelings and try to understand different religions and cultures.
We have listed a few simple tips that can help make interactions with others easier - - especially at this time of year.
In short, we must rid ourselves of all assumptions and be more aware of our words and actions. This isn’t the end of hearing about being ‘politically correct’, but we are hopeful that it might be a shift in the right direction.
The Importance of Family Dinners
With the school year gearing back up, families around the country are bracing themselves for busy schedules and complicated carpooling. It can be difficult to juggle a career and raising a family. After a busy day at work, it's understandable to dread the work involved with dinner preparation. However, putting in this effort can dramatically strengthen family ties and be a rewarding experience for all.
The statistics show that more and more Americans families are picking up on these benefits. In 1998, only 47% of families reported to eating together at least five times a week. By 2014, this number had jumped to 59%. This is good news for our society: a consistent family dinner routine has been linked to improved physical and mental well-being in children. Eating together at least four times a week correlates with lower rates of obesity and eating disorders, as well as with improved self-esteem and academic success. Children who eat with their families are less likely to develop depression or battle with substance abuse, as the dinnertime becomes a platform for parental reinforcement and support.
In order to reap these benefits, however, certain dining protocol must be followed. The dining table needs to be an environment that fosters healthy conversation. Cellphones should not be brought to the table, the television should be kept off, and gaming devices should be banned. This strengthens communication skills by reinforcing the importance of giving a conversation your full attention. Additionally, dinnertime can be used as a place to teach your children proper listening techniques and polite methods of expressing emotions. Encourage every member of the family to engage in the discussion and demonstrate inclusivity. Use the dinner table as an extension of the classroom by challenging your children with high-level conversation and vocabulary.
Dinners at home can also cut costs and calories. A 2014 study found that the average American family spends $225 a month eating at restaurants and grabbing food on-the-go. That totals to over $2500 a year - hardly pocket change! Buying and preparing the food yourself enables frugality and greater control over the nutritional content.
Because restaurants aim to impress their customers, their chefs will often add liberal amounts of salt, butter, and other tasty - but unhealthy - ingredients. This quickly adds unnecessary calories that often go unnoticed. Well-prepared family dinners can instill the importance of a balanced, healthy diet - a habit that will likely stay with the children for the rest of their lives.
The advantages of coming together abound, but sometimes the demands of our busy lives get in the way. Aviva Goldfarb, advocate of family dinners and author of "Six O'Clock Scramble", suggests that family dinners don't have to be an all-or-nothing affair. She says that realistically, the average family may not be able to sit down every night of the week. Goldfarb suggests targeting quieter times, like Sunday evening, and making those meals sacred. Cherish the times spent together. In the words of Desmond Tutu, "You don't choose your family; they are a gift to you, as you are to them."
It’s impossible to open a smartphone or computer right now without encountering fiery reactions to Colin Kaepernick’s refusal to stand during the national anthem. The San Francisco 49ers quarterback staged the protest during Friday’s preseason game against Green Bay, later stating to NFL media, “I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color.”
Both backlash against and backing for Kaepernick has exploded across social media and major news networks. Teammates, commentators, celebrities and politicians are all chiming in. The athlete held an 18 minute news conference in an attempt to explain the meaning behind the move.
Whether Kaepernick is a hero or a traitor, there is no doubt that he has started a firestorm of controversy while proving the age-old truth that actions speak louder than words. It is one thing to voice your support for a movement, to make a speech or write a song; it is entirely another to publicly defy deep-rooted traditions such as expressing love of country and reverence toward national emblems. Right or wrong, inappropriate or germane, the impact of the athlete’s actions have resounded country-wide and will be echoing for some time to come.
Sending compelling messages through public actions has been prevalent in sports of late. With the spotlight on the Olympics this summer, many such instances took place on a worldwide stage. Consider Sam Kendricks, Team USA pole vaulter and winner of the bronze medal. In the middle of a competition, as Kendricks ran full throttle into his vault, the national anthem began to play over the loudspeaker. The athlete and Army Reservist immediately came to a screeching halt, dropped his pole, and stood at attention until the anthem had ended. His actions were an indisputable display of patriotism and respect for the flag, and elicited an outpouring of support and praise nationwide. See the moving video here.
In the same vein but causing a distinctively different reaction, Olympic gymnast Gabby Douglas was severely chastised on social media because of body language interpreted as nonchalance and disregard as her team was awarded the gold medal. Douglas’ slouching posture and seemingly sullen look stood in sharp contrast to the ecstatic expressions and deferential bearing held by her teammates. The public overwhelmingly read her actions as disrespectful and indifferent in a situation which apparently called for reverence and awe.
Both Douglas and Kaepernick have asserted that their actions were, to some degree, misinterpreted. The gymnast insists she was simply overwhelmed and trying to take it all. Kaepernick’s most fervent detractors have accused him of showing disrespect to US military personnel and their families, whose dedication and sacrifice defends the very rights he has exercised. Kaepernick contends that he is supporting “the people that are being oppressed”, not slapping the face of our military heroes.
We all have personal views on patriotism, regard for national symbols, and behavior appropriate for public figures and role models. These views vary as widely as our political opinions and religious customs. But one thing we can all agree on, based on these examples, is that we communicate through actions, even more forcefully than with words. Because our actions result in reactions, it is important to be mindful of body language, facial expressions and public behavior to ensure the correct message is being transmitted.
Searching for a job is an around-the-clock task that is as rewarding as it is draining. Here are some tips that may help you score big at your next interview.
Look up some common interview questions, and practice answering them. Organize your thoughts using bulleted lists rather than full sentences to prevent an over-practiced tone. Call the employment personnel at your prospective company. You may receive further insight into what you can expect from the interview: some companies will present their interviewees with case studies or logic problems on the spot. Glean as much information about your interview beforehand.
Research the company thoroughly. Familiarize yourself with as many aspects of the business: try their products or services yourself. Contact current employees or peruse the company website.
After all this research, don’t get the company confused! If you’ve ever been on a massive job-hunt involving several companies at once, you may understand how easy it is to fall victim to this. Have all your prospective employers straight in your mind before going into the interview. Avoid overly-scripted responses that may trap you into saying the wrong company’s name as part of a memorized answer. Oh horrors!
To make yourself stand out, go the extra mile. Doing research prior to the big day can help you dress for the job. Try to find photos of company events, or go to the company in person to gauge the everyday wear of the industry. Your interview outfit should always be one step above this standard. Pay attention to the details of your outfit – check for loose strings, tiny stains, or wrinkled collars; employers will undoubtedly note your meticulousness! Clean out your purses or briefcases before the interview so you’re not pulling out gum wrappers, pens, or lipstick tubes along with your resume.
From the moment you walk in the room, pay close attention to the person’s communication style. Are they warm and receptive, asking questions and casually talking to you? Or do they get right to business in a straight-forward manner? Adapt your method of talking to fit theirs. Don’t tell personal anecdotes or crack too many jokes if your interviewer acts formally. Regardless of their style, don’t be afraid to ask your interviewer questions about themselves – their career experiences and insights about the company – at appropriate times in the interview. Make a personal connection with your interviewer.
What’s the starting salary? This is a well-known “no-no”, but it’s an important reminder nonetheless. It comes off as very presumptuous to ask the pay for a job you haven’t even gotten an offer for yet.
What’re the hours? Questions like this are not inherently bad, just make sure you don’t sound like you’ll be unable to adhere to the company’s schedule. If you ask it too directly, it may seem that you are someone who’ll be watching the time constantly, just waiting to clock-out.
What happened to the last person who had this job? Stay away from questions about your predecessors. Asking about specific people or the interviewer’s opinion on the company’s leadership, can appear gossipy and hurt your chances of scoring the position.
Do you do background checks? This shouldn’t need explanation. Asking this question makes you sound as though you have something to hide.
How did I do? Regardless of how you felt the interview went, do not put your interviewer on the spot by asking them to evaluate your performance to your face. It will make you look insecure and unpolished, and will leave a very bad impression of you in your interviewer’s mind.
Familiarize yourself with the interview location so you don’t make yourself late or stressed by getting lost. Leave early enough so that you provide yourself with a fifteen minute window of time after arriving at your destination. That way, you’ll be calm, cool, and collected even if you have to park far from the building or wait for a slow elevator. If you have extra time before your appointment, run to the restroom so you won’t have any emergencies during your interview! You can use this bathroom break to freshen up by combing your hair, checking your teeth, and straightening your outfit.
At the end of the interview, be sincere and give your interviewer your thanks. They are ultimately trying to help you get a job with their company. In addition to the in-person thanks, make sure you send the interviewer a hand-written note of gratitude. Use your nicest stationery and write carefully. If written notes aren’t your style – although we strongly recommend that you make them your style! - at the very least, send your interviewer an email follow-up. This simple act of graciousness may tilt the scales in your favor!